Welcome
Welcome to Thought Shift Thursday and episode 14 of my 30-day podcasting challenge.

Today we’re exploring perfectionism.
Why it often shows up in ADHD brains.
And how it can gently steal our momentum…
even when our strengths are fully present.

What Perfectionism Is

Here’s the definition from the American Psychological Association:

“The tendency to demand of others or oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation.”

A quick pause here:

Perfectionism is not about wanting to do well.
It’s about feeling like anything less than flawless
might affect your sense of safety, approval, or belonging.

Where Perfectionism Starts (the emotional roots)

For many people, perfectionism started long before adulthood.

Maybe you:

• were criticized often
• grew up around very high standards
• got approval mainly when you performed well
• felt love or acceptance was tied to achievement
• learned that mistakes led to emotional consequences

Over time, your brain connected:

“If I get it perfect, I’m safe.”
“If I do it flawlessly, I’m lovable.”
“If it isn’t perfect, it doesn’t count.”

This is not weakness.
This is survival learning.
It formed because you cared.
Because you adapted.
Because you wanted connection, stability, and to do things well.

Why ADHD Makes Perfectionism Louder

ADHD brains often bring:

• creativity
• insight
• sensitivity
• high internal standards

These are strengths.

But they can also make perfectionism feel louder when:

• the steps are unclear
• the instructions feel fuzzy
• the emotional stakes feel high
• you deeply care about the outcome
• all-or-nothing thinking kicks in

Here’s how that sounds:

Perfectionism says, “Do it perfectly.”
All-or-nothing thinking says,
“If it’s not perfect, or if I can’t do all of it, I’ll wait.”

Together, they create pressure that can stop your momentum.
Even small tasks can feel bigger than they actually are.

A Real Example from My Life

I once took an online (technically hybrid) class.
I understood the material really well.

Every assignment I submitted earned an A.
So this wasn’t about ability or support.

The challenge was perfectionism.

I polished.
Tweaked.
Reworked.
Held onto assignments long after they were strong enough.

Each task grew heavier.
More time-consuming.
More emotionally loaded.

I fell behind, not because it was too hard,
but because my standard was too high for the time I had.

I ran out of time.
I earned a C, not from lack of understanding,
but because I didn’t submit enough assignments.

Here’s the truth:

I would have earned a better grade
by turning in good-enough work consistently.

Something would have supported my progress
more than holding everything until it felt flawless.

Perfectionism doesn’t announce itself loudly.
It whispers,
“Let me just fix one more thing…”
and suddenly, the deadline is gone.

How Perfectionism & All-or-Nothing Thinking Might Show Up for You

You might notice patterns like:

• waiting for the “perfect” moment to start
• pausing when steps feel unclear
• redoing or refining tasks more than needed
• delaying finishing because you want it “right”
• stepping back from goals after one imperfect day
• caring so much that starting feels emotionally heavy

A common example:

Your goal is to work out for 30 minutes.
Today you only have 15.

Your brain says,
 “If I can’t do the full 30, it doesn’t count.”

So you skip the movement entirely.
Even though 15 minutes would have supported your body,
your strength,
and your momentum.

That’s all-or-nothing thinking at work.

The Real Cost (with compassion)

Perfectionism grows out of strength,
care, commitment, and high standards.

But the strategy itself can become draining.

It can cost:

• time
• rest
• mental space
• confidence
• opportunities you are fully capable of handling

Here is the core truth:

You were never the limitation.
The strategy was.

Your strengths are still intact.
They simply need approaches that match:

your energy,
your clarity,
your real-life rhythms.

And clarity grows through action,
not before it.

Reflection + Mindshift Questions

Ask:

1. Where is my perfectionism costing me more than it’s helping?
2. What tiny, doable step aligns with my strengths today?
3. If “flawless” wasn’t required, what would feel light or possible?
4. How would my progress shift if “good enough” counted?
5. What strength is hiding underneath my perfectionism?

You don’t need flawless.
You need a beginning that supports your momentum.

I’ll see you tomorrow for Faith Friday.