Tip Tuesday – Episode 19: Using Social Stories to Prepare for Hard Moments

Welcome to Tip Tuesday, and welcome to Episode 19.
This episode is arriving a couple of days later than planned, and that’s okay.

In a previous episode, I talked about how falling behind can make it feel even harder to get back on track, especially for ADHD brains, when something doesn’t go the way we expected.

The pressure grows, overwhelm builds, and restarting can feel heavier than the original task. That’s exactly what happened to me. And that’s true for adults, but it’s also very true for kids.

Today’s tip is about how we can help children feel more prepared before a hard moment happens, by giving them a clear picture of what’s coming, how they might feel, and what support is available, instead of trying to fix things after everyone is already overwhelmed.

I want to talk about a tool called a social story.

A social story is a short, simple story you can use to help your child understand what’s going to happen, how they might feel, and what they can do before a challenging situation happens.

The goal isn’t to control behavior.
 The goal is to help your child’s brain feel prepared, safe, and supported.

Social stories were originally developed by psychologist Carol Gray and have been used for decades in special education and therapeutic settings. They work especially well for ADHD brains because they combine predictability, emotional awareness, and clear steps.

Here’s how to create a simple social story at home.

First, start with what’s going to happen.
Keep it factual and concrete.

For example:
 “When we go to the store, there will be people, bright lights, and noise.”

Next, name possible emotions ahead of time.
This helps feelings feel expected instead of overwhelming.

You might say:
 “You might feel excited, or you might feel overwhelmed when it gets loud. Both of those feelings are okay.”

Then, invite your child’s input.

Ask questions like:
 “When you start to feel that way, what helps your body?”
 “What would you like to do if it feels like too much?”

Listen to their answers.

They might say they want to stand close to you, cover their ears when it’s too loud, squeeze your hand when they feel overwhelmed, bring a small comfort toy, take a few slow breaths, or do whatever helps their body calm down.

Next, clarify the plan together.

You can say:
 “Okay, so if it feels loud, you’ll cover your ears or squeeze my hand, take a few slow breaths if that helps, bring your comfort toy, and come stand next to me.”

Finally, define what success looks like.

Keep it small and realistic.

Success can look like your child trying one small part of the plan. That’s it.
 They don’t have to do it the entire time.

Even if they manage their emotions just a little better, that still counts as success.
 We’re not aiming for perfection. We’re aiming for better.

A social story doesn’t have to be perfect or even long. You can make it as short or as detailed as your child needs.

Even a short conversation like this can make a big difference.

Social stories work because they lower the chances of things spiraling to the point where everyone feels behind and overwhelmed. They help children start with clarity instead of having to recover afterward.

You’re not trying to prevent big feelings.
 You’re helping your child feel prepared, supported, and capable.

If you’d like more detail about the background and psychology behind social stories, I’ve included a trusted resource in the episode transcript, so you can explore it at your own pace.

That kind of preparation builds clarity, calm, and confidence for the whole family.

Thanks for being here, and thanks for listening to Tip Tuesday.

Welcome to Tip Tuesday, and welcome to Episode 19.
This episode is arriving a couple of days later than planned, and that’s okay.

In a previous episode, I talked about how falling behind can make it feel even harder to get back on track, especially for ADHD brains, when something doesn’t go the way we expected.

The pressure grows, overwhelm builds, and restarting can feel heavier than the original task. That’s exactly what happened to me. And that’s true for adults, but it’s also very true for kids.

Today’s tip is about how we can help children feel more prepared before a hard moment happens, by giving them a clear picture of what’s coming, how they might feel, and what support is available, instead of trying to fix things after everyone is already overwhelmed.

I want to talk about a tool called a social story.

A social story is a short, simple story you can use to help your child understand what’s going to happen, how they might feel, and what they can do before a challenging situation happens.

The goal isn’t to control behavior.
 The goal is to help your child’s brain feel prepared, safe, and supported.

Social stories were originally developed by psychologist Carol Gray and have been used for decades in special education and therapeutic settings. They work especially well for ADHD brains because they combine predictability, emotional awareness, and clear steps.

Here’s how to create a simple social story at home.

First, start with what’s going to happen.
Keep it factual and concrete.

For example:
 “When we go to the store, there will be people, bright lights, and noise.”

Next, name possible emotions ahead of time.
This helps feelings feel expected instead of overwhelming.

You might say:
 “You might feel excited, or you might feel overwhelmed when it gets loud. Both of those feelings are okay.”

Then, invite your child’s input.

Ask questions like:
 “When you start to feel that way, what helps your body?”
 “What would you like to do if it feels like too much?”

Listen to their answers.

They might say they want to stand close to you, cover their ears when it’s too loud, squeeze your hand when they feel overwhelmed, bring a small comfort toy, take a few slow breaths, or do whatever helps their body calm down.

Next, clarify the plan together.

You can say:
 “Okay, so if it feels loud, you’ll cover your ears or squeeze my hand, take a few slow breaths if that helps, bring your comfort toy, and come stand next to me.”

Finally, define what success looks like.

Keep it small and realistic.

Success can look like your child trying one small part of the plan. That’s it.
 They don’t have to do it the entire time.

Even if they manage their emotions just a little better, that still counts as success.
 We’re not aiming for perfection. We’re aiming for better.

A social story doesn’t have to be perfect or even long. You can make it as short or as detailed as your child needs.

Even a short conversation like this can make a big difference.

Social stories work because they lower the chances of things spiraling to the point where everyone feels behind and overwhelmed. They help children start with clarity instead of having to recover afterward.

You’re not trying to prevent big feelings.
 You’re helping your child feel prepared, supported, and capable.

If you’d like more detail about the background and psychology behind social stories, I’ve included a trusted resource in the episode transcript, so you can explore it at your own pace.

That kind of preparation builds clarity, calm, and confidence for the whole family.

Thanks for being here, and thanks for listening to Tip Tuesday.

Resource link for more information:

What is a social story featuring Carol Gray https://undivided.io/resources/what-is-a-social-story-featuring-carol-gray-2202