Episode 33: When Getting Started Feels Impossible
Welcome
Hello, and welcome to Tip Tuesday and Episode 33 of ADHD Life in Real Time.
Have you ever looked at something you needed to do and felt so overwhelmed that, even though you knew it had to get done, you did not know where to start?
I know that feeling all too well.
My Experience
When I was going through my ADHD life coaching program, there was a lot to keep up with.
We had homework, coaching hours, and other assignments to complete.
Sometimes, especially when I got behind, the amount of work felt overwhelming.
The more overwhelmed I felt, the harder it was to start.
And the longer I waited, the more the work piled up.
Another coach in the program was in the same situation I was, so we decided to use body doubling to help us get unstuck and start working on the assignments we had been putting off.
Body doubling has helped me many times—not only with getting started, but also with staying focused and keeping the work moving.
So, let's talk about what body doubling really is.
What Is Body Doubling?
Body doubling means doing a task while another person is there with you.
They can be in the same room, or they can be online with you.
They do not have to help you.
They do not have to work on the same task.
They do not even have to watch you.
If you're meeting online, the camera can be off. You simply know the other person is there on the other side.
They might be reading a book, working on their computer, folding laundry, or doing something else that is quiet and not distracting.
The important part is their presence.
Why It Helped Me
The other coach and I would meet online and each work on our own assignments.
We were not working on the same homework.
And we were not helping each other with our homework.
We simply knew the other person was there.
The work did not change, but I was no longer trying to manage the overwhelm, get started, and stay focused completely on my own.
Having someone else there gave me the outside support I needed.
Once we got started, I was laser-focused.
We were not talking while we worked because that would have been too distracting.
We each stayed focused on our own assignments.
Their presence helped me get started, stay focused, and keep moving until the work was done.
The Research
And this is not just something that worked for me.
The Cleveland Clinic says body doubling can help people with ADHD get started, stay focused, and keep working on a task.
I like to share ideas that have been studied, not just things that have worked for me.
That way, you know there is research behind what I'm sharing.
Everyday Examples
You also do not have to be in school or completing a coaching program to use body doubling.
It can be just as helpful in everyday life.
Maybe you have a pile of laundry that has been sitting there for days.
Maybe you need to clear off the kitchen table.
Maybe you want to declutter one drawer, answer a few emails, or finish some paperwork.
You could ask someone to sit nearby while you fold the laundry.
You could have a friend join you online while you sort through a pile of papers.
You could both work on completely different things.
The camera can be on, or it can be off.
Setting a Goal
If you want to, or if it is helpful, you can take a minute at the beginning to decide what you are each going to work on.
It can also help to choose one clear goal for the session.
Instead of saying, "I'm going to work on the laundry,"
you might say, "For the next 20 minutes, I'm going to fold this basket of laundry."
Or instead of saying, "I'm going to clean,"
you might say, "For the next 15 minutes, I'm going to declutter this one drawer."
Then, when the time is up, you can check in with yourself and see how much you did.
Even if you did not finish everything, you can still see how far you came during that time.
Once you decide what you are working on, you work quietly without talking or distracting each other.
Why It Works
Here's something else I have noticed.
Sometimes the task itself is not even that difficult.
The hardest part is simply getting started.
That is why I think body doubling can create that first spark.
It can help you move from thinking about the task to actually beginning it.
Once you begin, having someone else there helps you stay focused and keep moving.
The goal does not have to be big.
And you do not have to work for a long time.
The Cleveland Clinic says body-doubling sessions often last between 20 and 90 minutes, but you can choose the amount of time that works for you.
This Week's Challenge
So, if you have never tried body doubling before, maybe this is the week to give it a try.
Think about one thing you have been putting off.
Then ask someone you trust if they would be willing to be there with you for a short time.
They can sit nearby.
They can join you online.
They can work on something else, read, or do another quiet activity.
They do not have to help you.
They do not have to watch you.
They simply need to be there without distracting you.
Their presence will give you the outside support you need to get started, stay focused, and keep moving.
Closing
Thank you for spending a little bit of your day with me.
Until next time, I'll see you for Real Life Wednesday, where I'll share a story about an unexpected visitor that definitely wasn't welcome.
Until then, I hope today's tip helps you create a little more clarity, feel a little more calm, and have a little more confidence. 💜💚
